Breaking the sounds of silence..

Tomorrow will be exactly 4 months since my last blog entry. A lot has changed in that time. Lots of ideas have been percolating in the old noggin, and it’s about time they start to come out to breathe, gain new life, and see where they take me.

I am still doing the stay at home dad thing. It is a blast and I love my kids and the time I share with them dearly. I learn new things from them on a daily basis, whether it is Jack’s running dialogue on how something works (according to his 3 ½ yr old brain anyway), or if it is Lucy’s dialogue espousing something great and profound or using words I had no idea she even knew. It is great and I love every minute of it, even when I am complaining that I don’t; I really do.

Last week, Lucy was on spring break; so, I loaded up the kids in the van and headed home to my parents for a while before traveling on up to Michigan to spend some time with the wife’s family and to reconnect with some college friends. I had a great time whether it was playing computer games with my friend Dave, having lunch with Mike, a drink with Stutes, or meeting Kelly at the mall and watching the kids play on the ship or carousel. Not to mention the good times I had with family.

However, I did notice a couple of things. 1. I have changed. A LOT. 2. Some things never change. EVER. 3. I can’t expect my viewpoint to be understood nor accepted no matter how hard I try.

Let me explain.

First of all, I AM A STAY AT HOME DAD. Some people, mostly women, find this to be great. Most men however, especially from more conservative circles find this to be some sort of abomination. The question is, “Why would any self-respecting man do a woman’s work?” You may be reading this and find this appalling, which I hope is the case, but it is true. I was asked on several occasions what my plan was for the future. The intent being that I couldn’t be a stay at home dad because it wasn’t a viable option.

Exactly 3 thoughts went off in my head at that moment. 1. I know that Jack hasn’t pooped yet today, so that means that I have to wipe his butt yet today. 2. Your wife hasn’t worked a job since the day she had kids; so, obviously you place a high regard to having a parent stay home with the kids to raise them. 3. You don’t respect what your wife does as a job and therefore can’t respect me because I am doing a woman’s work. However, I didn’t mention any of those, but went into what I have been thinking a lot about lately.

I am trying to get my own business started. I want to use some of the gifts that God has given me to help other people. I want to be an Urban Farmer. My business would help people build in ground and above ground gardening beds, learn the planting and harvesting cycles, start compost piles/barrels, and maybe learn how to can or store food for the winter months.

I want to help people become less dependent upon corporations to supply their food and less dependent upon the government to regulate the nutritional value and the potential for disease or irregularities of food. Honestly, in the last 6 months, would you trust either a corporation or the government to have your best interests at heart?

The espousing of these ideas caused one particular person to call me, “Green,” in a pejorative sense. Not like it was a good thing, but that my ideas are “too tree huggie or too left,” for them. Talking about how lawns and green grass is a sign of the excess in America and how other countries use every last square foot of ground they have for food production didn’t do any good. Their thoughts are something like this, “Why would any person that is well to do, want to raise their own food? My parents and their parents worked hard in their lives so that I wouldn’t have to do physical labor in mine. I am not going to raise my own food, when I can just drive up to the local grocery store and buy it. Plus, my yard is a sign of my prosperity. If I have a good manicured yard, I must be a good person, right? I have everything together. People judge me by how good of a yard I keep, and subsequently but not readily admitted, I do the same.”

These are the same people that if I were to ask them how much would an hour a week of quiet alone time is worth to them would say that it is priceless. That is exactly what gardening provides, 1 hour a week of quiet alone time; just you, your plants, dirt, and God (if you allow Him).

There is something about being in the dirt that is rejuvenating. It gets your creative juices flowing. Just because Adam and Eve got themselves kicked out of the Garden, doesn’t mean that the mandate or care for the earth is void. It is still a requirement. We have let this slide for too long. Take responsibility for your food, and get in the garden. Be creative. Care for the earth. Grow something, anything. You might just grow closer in your relationship with God too.

I have changed a lot. It was great to go back and interact with people and explore my old college campus, but now I know just how much God has led me on this life changing journey and I don’t know if I would choose some people to be friends with now that I did when I was younger, or even if I would choose to attend the same college I did when I was 18.

A lot has changed in 4 months. Hopefully it won’t be another 4 before I blog again. Keep on me to make entries more often.